Loving Our Boys in Decatur
"One time, we were celebrating the birthday of a sixth-grade boy who was in our home. I realize that may sound somewhat ordinary, but for him, we learned it was the first time he had blown out a candle on a birthday cake. I’ll never forget him looking at me and saying, ‘This has been the best birthday ever!’ Experiences like this is one of my favorite things about being here,” shares Decatur house mom, Dana Davidson.
She and husband, Dane, have served with us as house parents in our Decatur boys’ cottage for just over ten years now, and in that time, they have seen children experience many life joys, both big and small.
HOW GOD BEGAN TO CALL THEM
“Dane worked in the student ministry in our church. Three of the students there lived in this cottage, and Dane just had a heart for them,” says Dana, “I remember very vividly one night at church, they were showing a video for the special offering. After we got home, Dane said to me, ‘Do you think you’d ever want to do anything or serve with the Children’s Home?’”
God had started working in Dane’s heart, however, Dana wasn’t quite ready to think about a change
like this.
“Our oldest son, Cage, had been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, which is on the autism spectrum. We had extensive therapy services for him—speech, occupational, and physical therapists would come into our home regularly. And when they weren’t there working with him, I was. All I could think, (of making this kind of move), was there is absolutely no way I could give Cage what he needed and take care of so many other kids. I was pretty adamant in saying no, and he (Dane) didn’t say anything more to me. He dropped it.”
About a year later though, it came up again. As the former house parents were approaching retirement, they shared with Dane their prayers for a couple who would take their place and felt the Lord had laid it on their hearts that it would be him and Dana.
“He had already confirmed to me,” says Dane, “But I told Dana ‘I won’t mention it again until you come to me.’ I wanted to mention it, but I didn’t, because I knew what God gave me would not sustain her.” At first, she was still closed off to the idea, but says, “I remember a couple days later, I prayed, ‘Lord, if this is what I’m supposed to do, you will have to show me . . . I need to know.’ Eventually, He confirmed it for me in His Word, just like He did with Dane.”
OBEDIENCE AND MIRACLES
“So here we are,” says Dana, “And one of the things I share a lot with people is how Cage flourished by coming here. Dane and I both believe that God honored our obedience to His call, and He healed our child.
“At school, he had an Aide that came in and helped him a few times a week, and at the end of his first-grade year, we had a meeting at school, and they said he no longer needed the IEP (Individualized Education Plan) he had been on to help with extra needs he’d had! Nine years later, he plays football and is part of the National Junior Honor Society. He has a social life. He’s a typical young man.” With tears in both of their eyes, Dana shares, “Just to be able to witness a miracle, has been nothing short of amazing. Our family has been
so impacted.”
When Dana found out she was pregnant a second time, she shares that her first response was not excitement, but fear. She couldn’t help but think of all they’d gone through with Cage and how they were just getting to an easier place with him. But God was in control, and she was soon reminded of that truth.
“I think Conley being born was a way of God showing His grace to me. I had such a special love for him, right away, and I felt God was saying to me, ‘Even though you didn’t trust my plan, and that this wasn’t a plan that you had to bring another life into the world, you can, again, trust me, and my plan.’ And we absolutely cannot imagine him not being here. The Lord definitely knows more of what we need than we do.”
LIFE WITH BOYS
When it comes to life with boys, their two biological boys and a house of six to eight more, it’s easy to wonder what a normal day is like!
Dane says, “Well, it’s very loud, and everything is competitive,” to which Dana smiles and agrees. He adds, “We have football and baseball going on at the same time. We’re about to start basketball.” Dana says, “Anytime we have middle or high school boys, we encourage them to do extracurricular activities. We just know how good it is for them.”
Also good for them, they’ve seen, is the opportunity for kids to be able to focus on the things kids typically get to focus on. Basic things that we can easily take for granted.
“When you take kids who are C and D students, and all of a sudden they start making As and Bs, and they never thought they could do that,” says Dane, “I think that’s when they start seeing they can do what everybody else can do. When you remove hindrances, the unknowns.” Dana adds, “Things like, when am I going to eat? Am I going to have clean clothes? Am I going to have a ride to school? Is my mom going to be awake when I go to school, or am I going to wake up by myself?”
Dane says, “When you remove all that, and they just know, hey, all I have to do today is go to school, and do whatever I need to do there, and when I get home, I’m going to be able to eat, and I’m going to be able to play . . . With simple, minimal routines, they can thrive. Eating at about the same time, having the same expectations in the morning; these basic routines make a difference. They know all of their needs are going to be met. They’re always going to have clean clothes. They’re always going to have food.”
PERSONAL IMPACT FELT
From kids that stayed only a short time, to those who stayed for years, the Davidsons enjoy still being able to see many of their boys, now young adults. Dana says, “I have several that I can name who have really stolen a piece of my heart. I know these boys, when they were here, were shown and presented with the gospel of Jesus, and they accepted. And I’m just really thankful that that relationship (we established with them here) will be able to continue on forever, because of Jesus.”
In addition to making and maintaining positive relationships with these boys is the chance to help their parents. Dana feels sure that part of her ministry on the Decatur campus is to minister to the moms. “I try to come alongside and encourage them. I can’t imagine being sick, whether it is an addiction or a struggle with a mental health issue, or whatever reason the children have been taken away. I would want somebody to be a cheerleader for me. I feel it’s a gift God has given me; not only just taking care of their children for a season, but that I can encourage and come alongside and cheer for reunification . . .
“God’s design is for families to be together, and if mom and dad are able to take care of their children, then that’s where they should be. You’re not going to have a connection with everyone, but there have been several families I’ve been able to make connections with over the years and are still in touch with.”
TREASURED TIMES
With Christmas right around the corner, it’s easy to think about family traditions, and the Davidson home has plenty of those in place for the boys in their care. Dinner at Waffle House on Christmas day, a movie on Thanksgiving, first-time beach trips, and first-time rollercoaster rides—the Davidsons treasure them all, and Dana says, “Seeing their faces in response to these times is like nothing else. It’s amazing.”
But it’s not just the holidays or exciting times that stand out. The simple days on campus are often the sweetest. Forming teams for campus wiffle ball or football, watching them make their own summer slip and slide—these little things mean a lot. Dane says, “One of my favorite things is watching kids being kids, knowing where they came from, and what they used to worry about.” Dana finishes this thought, “And for them to just not have to worry.”