Obedience and Faithfulness: Abram's Story
Drew and Lacey Barnwell have been incredible examples to us of obedience to God and faithfulness to the call of foster care. Married since 2010, they have four biological children and one adopted child, all under the age of seven! Their passion for foster care first grew, and continues to flourish, at The Church at Brook Hills where their eyes were first opened to orphan care.
After their pastor did a sermon series on orphan care, the Barnwells knew they were called to take action. Lacey says, “At the time, we only had one child who was nine months old, but during our first week of classes, we found out we were pregnant with our second son. We continued to finish the classes but put a pause on finalizing our license until our second was close to a year old. Right when we received our license, we found out we were pregnant with our daughter, baby number 3 . . . At this point, we realized God wanted us to foster despite what seemed like really hard circumstances to take another child in.”
STEPPING OUT AND JUMPING IN
After getting their license, they began to receive their first few placements, one of which was in a nearby NICU. “We continued in obedience to God despite how hard things were emotionally and physically on our family,” Lacey remembers. Soon after, they received a call for a baby boy, who four years later, would become a permanent part of their family. While hesitant to take on another newborn so soon after their NICU experience and with another biological child on the way, they followed the Lord’s leading to welcome him in.
Abram came into the Barnwell’s home when he was just three days old. As he was turning four months old, their third child was born, filling their home with four children, all younger than three years old! “That was a very hard time for our family,” Lacey shares, “Abram was a hard baby with lots of crying . . . couple that with a newborn and two toddlers, and we were really struggling to make it day-to-day. We felt a lot of guilt about how hard things were, and, eventually, we met the Clinkscales.”
During this hard time, Drew and Lacey both had the sense that they were called to eventually adopt Abram, but knowing the needs of their family , felt it may be more than they could take on in their current season. To help out, the Clinkscales, a newly licensed ABCH foster family who lived in the same small town as the Barnwells, cared for Abram as respite parents for one week.
“We felt the Lord urging us to ask them to take him more permanently. This was the hardest thing we had ever surrendered to in our lives. We sought counseling from a church family that worked at ABCH and told them how we had felt called to adopt Abram, and how it just didn’t make sense that God would have us disrupt his placement with us,” Lacey says, “Over tears, I remember them telling us how God has performed much bigger miracles and, if he belonged in our family permanently, he would find his way back to us. We made the hard call to our social worker and Abram left to live with the Clinkscales.”
Abram lived with the Clinkscales for a year and a half, during which time the Barnwells were able to see him and love on him even though he wasn’t in their home. As time went on, Drew and Lacey felt it was time to revisit the idea of adoption and began to take steps to bring Abram back into their home for good.
A year later, they found out they were pregnant with their fourth child. “In full transparency, this seemed crazy to us!” Lacey says, “We were about to have a fourth child under 6 years old and adopt all in a month’s time. But we trusted that God knew what he was doing, especially looking back at how far we had come and how he had already orchestrated so many pieces to the puzzle.”
In January of this year their daughter was born, and in May their adoption day finally arrived—making them a family of seven!
Photo by Goodwin Images
LEARNING AND LOVING
Every parent, from the moment they have their first child, begins a learning process. With five children, one coming to them from hard circumstances, the Barnwells certainly have wisdom to share!
“We’ve learned we both tend to be selfish. I think all parents figure this out at some point, but having lots of littles really makes you give a lot of yourself physically and emotionally. We had to really surrender to God’s will and design for parenting because our flesh wanted things to look a lot different than they did,” Lacey says, “We’ve learned that God sustains and he provides and His will is always better than our wants. We’ve learned that the world will think we are crazy, but it’s a great opportunity to show them that God is our ultimate sustainer and provider, and that He cares for children far more than we could ever care for them and that His plan for their lives will come to fruition, even in this broken world.”
Photo by Goodwin Images
A FULL FAMILY
Throughout their foster care and adoption journey, Drew and Lacey have seen God work in their own lives, the lives of their children, and the lives of those who have surrounded them with support and love.
“Our kids have had the ongoing opportunity to learn that the world doesn’t revolve only around them and that the world is a hard place that’s not our ultimate home . . . After our adoption, our oldest son said, ‘Mom, we need to get a bigger car so we can take care of more kids who need a mom and dad—we don’t have any more seats!’” Lacey says.
In addition to the support they’ve received from their friends, family, church family, and the Clinkscales, they’ve seen tremendous support from our team at ABCH. “We have always felt loved and supported and prayed over. Pathways Counseling has also been fundamental to our walk with parenting a child from difficult circumstance,” Lacey shares.
In many cases, foster care involves a lot of uncertainty, a lot of waiting, and a lot of remaining faithful even when you’re not sure what’s going to happen next. Because foster care exists out of the brokenness of our world, at times it can seem broken itself. But with Jesus there is always light, always an opportunity to choose love and grace, and always hope.
We are so grateful for the Barnwell family and families like them who continue to sacrifice and serve children from hard places. If you’d like to discover your next step to serve children and families in need, please visit our website!